“I feel so lonely, why none of my friends are online and talk to me? Why that person does not give me the birthday wish? He / she does not want to be friend with me anymore? What happened with them? Did I do something wrong so he / she is mad at me? Who are they talking about? Is it me? But I did nothing wrong”
As the first time when I started using Facebook, I usually came up with these thoughts and assumptions which led to my negative thinking. At that time, I was very struggling with the tensions and negativity caused by my Facebook friends, from the statuses, photos and everything they posted. After that I realize it is too stupid to let Facebook dominate my feelings.
The arise of the Internet comes along with the development of Social Media. The latter is supposed to be the place where people interact with others, share their thoughts, happy moments and receive a warm embrace and encouragements from their friends. Hence, it makes their lives happier and better. However, it is a two-sided sword that can kill people anytime if they do not know how to control themselves towards the virtual world properly. According to a research of Ethan Kross and Philippe Verduyn (The Economist, 2013), the authors assert that the more people use social networks, the more they are dissatisfied with their lives.
It cannot be denied that nobody wants to feel lonely and unhappy when joining social media. However, a research also found out that when skimming to view posts from friends, especially those who always post photos about vacations, delicious food in luxurious place can generate the feelings of envy, frustration and loneliness to users (Sifferlin, 2013). Moreover, when a special event comes such as birthday or wedding, users tend to expect their best friends or colleagues to give them the wishes, but when things go out of their expectation, they feel disappointed and desperate. As a result, people start thinking negatively about their lives then turning to hate “that person” without any reasons and this could break the relationship between people easily.
(Reproduced from http://www.jessica-jia.com/sites/default/files/images/Relationship/facebook-breakup.jpg)
In addition, when people spend time on surfing the social media too much, their well-beings are decreased by ending up comparing themselves with each other and this can lead to unexpected consequences (Konnikova, 2013). There used to be an issue about a hot girl from Da Nang who committed suicide because of being mocking and telling badly on Facebook. This caused both the school and her family shocked and suffered (Kenh14, 2013). Hence, it can be seen that it is important to control ourselves towards the negativity on social media.
A study found out that the more time women spend on social media, the higher weight and shape concern they may have. Hence, the possibility to have “appearance-focused behavior”, decrease in self-esteem and feel lonelier, more anxious and negative is high (Gummow, 2014).
(Reproduced from http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/how-facebook-makes-us-unhappy)
Social media can be an invisible rope to tighten and build up your relationship if you know how to select proper information to your mind. However, do not let your emotions depend too much on the virtual world. Don’t let it destroy yourself. You are the one that makes you happy, be wise to select information because a positive mind will also lead to a happier life. As there is a quote of His Holiness The Dalai Lama, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire world, deserve your love and affection”. You deserve your happiness. Be a controller, not a domination of Social media.
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Gummow, J. 2014, ‘7 Telltale Signs Social Media Is Killing Your Self-Esteem’, Alternet, viewed 22 April 2015, <http://www.alternet.org/personal-health/7-telltale-signs-social-media-killing-your-self-esteem>
Kenh 14, 2013, ‘Nữ sinh lớp 12 tự tử vì bị bêu rếu trên Facebook’, Kenh14 News, viewed 22 April 2015, <http://kenh14.vn/doi-song/da-nang-nu-sinh-lop-12-tu-tu-vi-bi-beu-rieu-tren-facebook-20130714122726827.chn>
Konnikova, M. 2013, ‘How Facebook makes us unhappy’, The New Yorker News, viewed 22 April 2015, <http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/how-facebook-makes-us-unhappy>
Sifferlin, A. 2013, ‘Why Facebook makes you feel bad about yourself’, The Time News, viewed 22 April 2015, <http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/24/why-facebook-makes-you-feel-bad-about-yourself/>
The Economist, 2013, ‘Facebook is bad for you’, The Economist News, viewed 22 April 2015, <http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21583593-using-social-network-seems-make-people-more-miserable-get-life>